In the name of Justice, Love, Truth, and Food...
My world consists of anime, piano, books, sloth and gluttony. If you see any other subject matter, it's only a momentary lapse.


Contact Information
Email Me
Y!IM: beezer_0
ICQ: 43628216


Current Anime
(ordered by priority)
Boogiepop Phantom, Wolf's Rain, Crest of the Stars, .hack//sign


Currently Reading
E Pluribus Unicorn by Theodore Sturgeon

I Am Legend by Richard Mathetson

The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

The Plague by Albert Camus



Links
the lexfiles
mad world
anne
sarah daisy
essbee
sterno pants
neckro
listen missy
the red zone
southern relish
tastes like chicken


wArchives:


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wSaturday, August 17, 2002


Happiness
After a late night at Luck of the Draw - and a display of drunkeness that I haven't matched in a while - I woke up about 1:00 today. Feeling a little down (a little hung over) and all that. So I re-read The Secret Circle trilogy by L. J. Smith (The Initiation, The Captive, and The Power). I love that series. It's been years since I read that series, and it really is one of the best sets I've ever read. Yes, it's a young adult series. Yes, it's about a coven of witches in high school. And, yes, I did re-read all three of them right in a row.

I have this big goofy grin on my face after finishing the last book. I can't help it, it just makes me so happy. There are other series which do this, particularly The Song of the Lionness Quartet and Protector of the Small by Tamora Pierce; The Immortals set, that bridges the time between the two, is also good, although I've only read it twice. I can, and have, read those series in one sitting, like I did with The Secret Circle today. In fact, The Song of the Lionness Quartet probably kept me from swan-diving off my balcony last month at my most self-destructive. There's nothing better than losing myself in these books. They never fail to take my mind off my troubles and inspire me to be happier. I know it's weird, that these young adult books touch me so much. I can't begin to explain it. I've been reading them over and over since the eighth grade (at least, the first Tamora Pierce set; the others weren't published until later - and I'm anxiously awaiting the last of the Protector of the Small, allegedly coming out this month).

I can just imagine what I'm like when I'm lost in these stories. I talk out loud to my books, sometimes reading lines aloud, or half-muttering them under my breath. It's like being inside and watching these characters move around me. I'm more familiar with them than my friends. I think only one person has seen me when I'm like that, and she said it's one of the most amusing things ever. I gasp, laugh, react and just get so entangled with the action that I don't even remember where I am anymore. It almost breaks my heart to emerge, but I always know I can go back to them.

No, they're not high quality prose, they're not going to win any prizes. But they mean more to me than almost anything else - which is a rather scary thought, I suppose. And they never, ever fail to make me feel better.

Excuse me, while I go read L.J. Smith's The Forbidden Game trilogy...

posted by Beatriz at 8:01 PM




wFriday, August 16, 2002


We are bored and suffer from ennui.
- The Prince (Richard Chamberlain), The Slipper and the Rose


posted by Beatriz at 4:02 PM




w


Favorite blogs re-order
In case any of the non-bloggers who read my site (um, all 1 of you) decide to look at others, you'll be more likely to find people who post a lot by clicking the ones that're first on the list.

This is also a subtle dig at the others to post more please.

Thank you.

posted by Beatriz at 2:43 PM




w


Amusing blogs
Ok, I found freakgirl through Lex, and she often has funny things to say.

Today's was over the top.

Eeek! can't link to specific posts, so go there now and check out the Mini-Me post, the savekaryn.com post (and the comments), and her outburst (which I can, and did, link to since it was on a separate page).

posted by Beatriz at 2:26 PM




w


Another delay for a cat
The main one is still that my apartment is a disaster. And a cat would just make it worse at this point, need to get it clean first. But, now I've decided to go ahead and get laser surgery, hopefully in the next month. I already have my pre-op scheduled for next Saturday, and they ideally want me in for the surgery 2 weeks after that. From what I remember when an ex- got it done, I should only be out of commission for about a day or two. Mommy said she'd take care of me then, so I'm planning a long weekend of being in Montgomery County. Can't take a cat down there, for obvious reasons - not allowed on the Metro, and the sweet baboo that lives there would likely kill it (he's such a bastard, but I love him).

So the apartment can stay messy for another couple of weeks, heh.

posted by Beatriz at 12:34 PM




w


Random morning post
Nothing at all important to say, my life's been pretty boring. Did venture out the other evening, drank way too much and spent yesterday hung over at work. I was here on time - just didn't get much done.

Plans for tonight include gym, and probably hanging out in the apartment getting giggly. 10% chance I might go to Luck of the Draw, but I also know myself: I won't want to travel all the way down to Southeast. I like the people, I like the bar (except for the selection of drinks - ugh) but it is a PITA to go down there. Too bad 90% of DC's dart teams play out of Mickey's. Makes me almost wish I'd moved to the Hill, rather than Adams Morgan. But not really.

posted by Beatriz at 10:22 AM




wThursday, August 15, 2002


If i go home
And come back another day
Tell me i won't miss you much
And i won't stay

And i saw danger
When i went to look the other way
Didn't think i'd miss you much
Didn't think, i know i never think
Didn't think i'd miss you much, i forgot to think

And i got my cats and my carpets
And my fish in my brain
I got the walls around me
They never change
I got my cats and my carpets
And the walls around me

Well hello again
You're another hour late
You didn't think i'd notice
You didn't think, I know you never think
You didn't think i'd notice
Well you forgot to think

And i got my cats and my carpets
And my fish in my brain
I got the walls around me
They never change
I got my cats and my carpets
And the walls around me

If i go home and come back another day
Tell me i won't miss you much
And i won't stay

And i got my cats and my carpets
And my fish in my brain
I got the walls around me
They never change
I got my cats and my carpets
And the walls around me

- Holly McNarland, Stay

posted by Beatriz at 2:57 PM




w


For blogchalk...
Google! DayPop! This is my blogchalk: English, United States, Washington, DC, Adams Morgan, Beatriz, Female, 21-25!

Pretty cool, stole it from Dave. I kind of just wanted the cool icon on my page, but when I read the information about it, seemed kind of neat. So I did it.

posted by Beatriz at 2:44 PM




w


From the Lotus Totus
Probably the best argument against building walls that I've found:
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
(Thanks, mommy)


posted by Beatriz at 11:13 AM




wWednesday, August 14, 2002


Probation is OVER
Yep, my probation officer (from my DWI's) just called and the abatement was approved by the judge. No more monthly visits (it was weekly at one point, can we say how displeased my work was?), no more crap. I don't have to get permission to leave the state. I don't have to get permission to leave the country. I can move, I can change jobs and no one needs to be told or approve it.

Definitely puts a new spin on the staying here another year, doesn't it? I really just didn't want to go through the hassle of getting the officials to approve it....

posted by Beatriz at 2:28 PM




w


Best Friends
Ok, my best friend is coming back from her year+ sojourn in Europe on September 6. How excited am I. I e-mailed her on Monday, saying I remembered the e-mail she sent a few months ago that she's coming back, and what's the news, and what's your life, etc. Finally heard back from her this morning, which is good because I'd been having awful nightmares about her and started getting afraid that something had happened.

She's awesome and wonderful and I absolutely can't wait to have fun hanging out times with her. We'd have insane movie marathons, conversations about the stupidest things. One day we came downtown to go to museums for the hell of it, and she's like, "Let's walk through this exhibit with our glutes clenched [to tone them]," so we waddled through this Egyptian room.

I miss the fat conversations. I miss having her call me three times a day and ask me how to lose weight - she knows, I know, but we're both so damn lazy and self-indulgent that we never do it. "How much weight can I lose in a week?" "I ate half a can of tuna for lunch today." She's insane, but I love it. The last time I saw her was in 2000, and we both looked good then (I was a good 35 pounds lighter than I am now. And i considered myself fat!). The first thing she's going to tell me this time around is that I'm fat, but that's ok. I know it, I'm working on it.

I love her because we can rant and rave at each other, and we know when the other needs to be argued with or just listened to. And if we're not sure, we ask. "Do you really want my advice, or are you just whining?" "Shut up and let me rant." "Ok, continue."

"Are we doing Christmas/birthday presents this year?" "Are you kidding? Do we ever buy each other presents?" "That's what I figured."

She's never going to stay in Maryland, or on the east coast, that I know. But she'll be here for a bit. We sometimes talked about getting a place together, but nixed it because a) we weren't sure if we'd help each other out of our funks, or fall further into the abyss of partying, and b) because I was too damn lazy to move. But, maybe now something will happen. Don't get your hopes up, DC, I'm not going anywhere soon. In fact I'll probably renew my lease when it comes up in October. And besides, we've maybe both changed so much that we might not want to live together.

Overall, I'm excited, I'll have a friend in town. That brings the grand total to 3.

posted by Beatriz at 11:40 AM




wTuesday, August 13, 2002


Quality filming
976-Evil 2

I love the Sci-fi channel. It's got the quality lineup that gave us a Psycho marathon on Mother's Day.

Update: Oh my, the heroine has not only bangs that have obviously been teased, but she also has high tops with the cool velcro. Two velcro strips.

posted by Beatriz at 9:09 PM




w


Gladiator
Actually saw it for the first time last night. Note to self: do not start watching long epic movies at 10:00 p.m., when I need to wake up early for an eye doctor appointment the next day.

Definitely on its way to becoming one of my all-time favorite movies. I really really enjoyed it. I got that feeling when it first started, of settling in to watch something like Braveheart - long, epic, bloody. Oscar award-winning movies hardly need my personal review, but here's some of my thoughts/things I noticed:

  • Danny Devito cameo (teehee)

  • I didn't catch the character's name, but did anyone else notice the functionality of the African hunter friend as remarkably similar to Morgan Freeman's in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves? Cultural diversity, bit of comic relief, helping the main character with profound insight and soul-searching depth as he returns home... could just be me though.

  • Proximo (the old gladiator) as kind of a stock character - which detracts not at all from his appeal, I liked him.

  • Heavy use of irony in dialogue - what comes briefly to mind is the Proximo/Maximus conversation when Maximus tells him "I want to stand in front of the emperor."

  • Connie Nielsen. Of course, she's beautiful, that goes without saying. She's just as striking as a blond, as seen in Soldier. Now, that was an awesome movie. Not the best reviews, and I think it flopped, but I was definitely affected by that movie. If I see it again soon, maybe I'll do a fun review.

  • Joaquin Phoenix. Yes, he was a whiny little spoiled insane brat, but that was his character. Certain scenes I think he could've been more whiny. In particular I'm remember the scene where he's talking to Quintus about mercy, and complaining that it's a vicious cycle with Maximus, and he doesn't want to make him into a martyr. I've liked his acting since seeing Clay Pigeons, a really fun, twisted flick involving adultery, blackmail, and murder. But, all with a light tone to it. Poor Joaquin Phoenix's character didn't really do anything, but he keeps winding up having to take care of the dead bodies and gets blamed for them. And Janeane Garofalo realizing "whodunit" as she's blitzed-drunk off her ass after doing tequila shots with the serial killer. And no, I didn't spoil anything, you knew who it was the whole movie.

  • Did anyone else notice that Senator Gracchus was the hypnotist guy from Dead Again?

  • Rape-and-revenge motif. Bear with me, I have a bit of a spiel here. As some of you may know, I practically grew up reading fantasy books. From about the age of 11 through 21, it's all I read - with occasional forays into romance, horror and other fun genres. One of the most common "themes" for setting up a fantasy character is the "rape and revenge" plotline, where the young girl is somehow violated, loses her home, etc. and then evolves into some great warrior/sorceress and wreaks havoc on the wrongdoers. This common theme was spelled out in one of the introductions to Marion Zimmer Bradley's "Sword and Sorceress" anthologies. (I also read a lot of "feminist" writers, although I didn't realize it at the time - hell, I was 12.)

    Now, let's expand that to the male half of the population. Most of these epic movies with heroes involve some sort of revenge. Whether or not it is the hero himself who's been victimized, he's really out there for vengeance. Braveheart. The Patriot. Rob Roy. And now Gladiator. These are the people whose "Actions Echo through Eternity" or "Earn freedom from the Tyrant" or whatnot. This is what appeals to us as watchers. And in light of our society where that almost can't happen, I find it fascinating that we are so drawn. The people now who are in the limelight of "Bringing freedom to the people" are politicians and everything just seems so bland. People now work for issues and beliefs, not the visceral explosion of revenge. If a man's family is destroyed, it makes the front page of the newspapers and the tabloids. He doesn't rally a following through the country and attack the criminals' entire being then kill him in a one-on-one sudden death duel. Or, maybe he does, but then he goes to trial and pleads temporary insanity. [Oh my - thoughts of A Time to Kill's ending running through my head - Matthew McConaughey's closing arguments to the jury... now, that was a powerful speech.]
Feel free to refute, or ignore, anything I've said here.



posted by Beatriz at 12:50 PM




wMonday, August 12, 2002


Is anybody there? Does anybody care?
- John Adams, 1776


posted by Beatriz at 4:49 PM




w


Quote of the Day
No, it's not from Buffy.

The page I have set for my startup page has all those fun options on it - horoscope, quote of the day, this day in history, etc. I wanted to share today's Quote with my 2 readers, just because it's a nice thought.
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
- Helen Keller


posted by Beatriz at 10:30 AM