In the name of Justice, Love, Truth, and Food...
My world consists of anime, piano, books, sloth and gluttony. If you see any other subject matter, it's only a momentary lapse.

Contact Information
Email Me
Y!IM: beezer_0
ICQ: 43628216

Current Anime
(ordered by priority)
Boogiepop Phantom, Wolf's Rain, Crest of the Stars, .hack//sign

Currently Reading
E Pluribus Unicorn by Theodore Sturgeon

I Am Legend by Richard Mathetson

The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

The Plague by Albert Camus

the lexfiles
mad world
sarah daisy
sterno pants
listen missy
the red zone
southern relish
tastes like chicken


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wThursday, August 22, 2002

Ever complained about yours? Well, this is mine. Literally, my apartment has the elevators on one side, and them on the other.

I've always known they were annoying. I just didn't realize they were famously annoying.

posted by Beatriz at 4:50 PM

wWednesday, August 21, 2002

Buffy: When Giles sends me on a mission, he always says please. And afterwards, I get a cookie.
- Season 3, Bad Girls

Incidentally, these quotes come from my head, not from a web site. No wonder I can't remember normal things, my head's all filled with Buffy quotes!

posted by Beatriz at 4:31 PM

wTuesday, August 20, 2002

Buffy: Will, your spells are fifty-fifty at best.
Willow: Yeah, well... so's your face!

- Season 4, Fear, Itself

posted by Beatriz at 3:31 PM


I will make it through the next two hours.
I will make it through the next two hours.

posted by Beatriz at 3:29 PM

wMonday, August 19, 2002

Strange urges
*evil grin*

No, not that kind.

I just so want to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail while smoking heavily. That would be a perfect evening.

posted by Beatriz at 12:34 PM

wSunday, August 18, 2002

A while ago I wanted to write a post called "Something is Coming.” I’ve had all these half-formed thoughts about how the world is moving quickly, how diversity is emphasized, the yoke thrown off mentally. We can explore other ways . . . . My life isn’t expected to be, childhood, marriage, kids and death. Examples are all around us, and started in my generation’s childhood. I remember when Murphy Brown was a scandal, because she was a single mother on a popular tv show. I remember on The Facts of Life when Natalie was trying to decide whether or not she should have sex with her boyfriend – and there were all these warnings to parents that parental discretion should be advised. And so many others. Compare that to The Sopranos, Queer as Folk and even the mainstream tv shows.

In 1984, Janet and Stewart Farrar wrote:
A century ago, men and women died in more or less the same kind of world as they had been born into. Today, brothers and sisters born ten years apart in the same family may have to make a real effort to understand each other’s worlds. Such a rate of change is not conducive to the unthinking acceptance of established philosophies or conventions, or to the persistence of outworn stereotypes.
They talk about this being brought about by a host of factors – “impending end of the patriarchal epoch; . . . anxiety over environmental and ecological issues; . . . shift from a work-ethic to a personal-fulfilment-ethic [sic]; . . . increasing independence of the young; increasing impossibility of” cultural and political isolation.

So instead of calling it “Something is Coming,” this post is now called…

Something is here
Why do I feel this? For so many half-formed reasons, subconscious things that seem to be leading somewhere. And I’m not saying it’s Judgment Day (I actually don’t believe in a Judgment Day anymore, at least so far as it was ground into me as a Catholic).

Things are changing so quickly that something is going to break. Can’t we feel the pressure, see the cracks? For example, the former pillar of our entire society, the Church, is falling apart as we watch. Just read the newspapers on the scandals. Look at the Churches that get followers that emphasize the self and are not persecuted, even lauded by those we idolize (Scientology, anyone?). We don’t blindly follow anymore.

And the knowledge and spread is increasing exponentially. And permeating us at earlier ages, thus having more time to take root and grow. There are more people, more genius, they’re building on what happened before and leap-frogging into unknown domains. Yes, this happened before (Scientific Revolution, etc.) and each time we’ve been irrevocably changed. But this time the ideas and the changes are happening faster.

I can’t even begin to think where it’s all leading, but I can’t deny that something’s changed. And more people know about it, and can voice it. We’re seeing it happen much in the way of Orson Scott Card, as pointed out by Braylen last month. The fact that I can sit here and write this and have anyone read it (not that anyone is). That Daniel Quinn can publish The Story of B and propose a worldview that not only rips apart everything we’ve been brought up on, but also have it make complete sense, even to us who were raised on "traditional views."

It's all winding tighter, something is coming, something is here. Bureaucracy is not going to be able to stop it, we're moving too fast now - towards something that is going to change it all.

May you live in interesting times.

posted by Beatriz at 9:41 PM


A Poem
I've never been very good with poetry. Rather worked against me in college, since I was an English major. But I really have no clue how to approach poetry - shit, I had to have my friends explain songs to me. It's probably why I've also never felt comfortable writing it. But there are a few which hit me, for one reason or another. One is W.B. Yeats' The Second Coming, although my awe of that likely stems from G'kar's oration in a Babylon 5 episode all those years ago when I was obsessed with the show.

The second, discovered and typed here from Amelia Atwater-Rhodes' Demon in My View follows.


From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were -- I have not seen
As others saw -- I could not bring
My passions from a common spring --
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow -- I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone --
And all I lov'd -- I lov'd alone --
Then -- in my childhood -- in the dawn
Of a most stormy life -- was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still --
From the torrent, or the fountain --
From the redcliff of the mountain --
From the sun that round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold --
From the lightning of the sky
As it pass'd me flying by --
From the thunder, and the storm --
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view --

by Edgar Allan Poe

posted by Beatriz at 6:01 PM


My post last night about reading L.J. Smith's The Forbidden Game was a lie, an outright lie!

I actually read her Dark Visions trilogy because I couldn't find my copy of the second book in the Game series.

I'm lying again, it was actually just about 2 and a half books, I fell asleep before finishing the third. Did that this morning, and read The Hunter and The Kill. I'm now sad because I really want to re-read The Chase because that was actually my favorite of the series. However I don't have it, and now I'm done with all my L.J. Smith books.

I want to cry.

Note: never, ever read The Vampire Diaries. They were awful. And never read her Nightworld series, that was even worse. I'm sorry, but you don't set up a truly evil character, give out tantalizing hints of his background, and then make him good in the second book. She could have done so much with him, but he was "tamed" by some weakling chick. I was rather bitter.

I'd finish The Amber Spyglass, in fact I was reading it on Friday, but I'm oddly reluctant to finish it when I'm in this state. The book deserves more attention than I could give it right now - especially since I'm about 70 pages from the end. I'd be finishing it just to finish it, not to enjoy the ending. Or be shocked by it - I've been a little shocked by a lot of it so far.

posted by Beatriz at 5:55 PM


The Perils of Living Alone
You all are going to love this.

I was going to write this up as a story, or lead up into it in some sort of cool way, but at this point I'm so hot and tired that it all doesn't matter. Here's the upshot of my fun Sunday morning.

I thought it was Monday. I woke up, looked at the clock, even called into work to say I was taking a personal hour this morning. Didn't realize it was Sunday until I actually arrived at the office building on Third St., and the doors were locked. You'd think I would've gotten a clue from the singing in the churches.

Since I was already in town, I went to various bookstores looking for stuff and managed to get some shopping done. But it's too hot outside, and I was in work clothes, and now I feel like I'm melting. So to make myself feel better (mentally and physically), I'm plying myself with smoky treats and ice cream.

Likely more postings later today.

posted by Beatriz at 12:11 PM