In the name of Justice, Love, Truth, and Food...
My world consists of anime, piano, books, sloth and gluttony. If you see any other subject matter, it's only a momentary lapse.

Contact Information
Email Me
Y!IM: beezer_0
ICQ: 43628216

Current Anime
(ordered by priority)
Boogiepop Phantom, Wolf's Rain, Crest of the Stars, .hack//sign

Currently Reading
E Pluribus Unicorn by Theodore Sturgeon

I Am Legend by Richard Mathetson

The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

The Plague by Albert Camus

the lexfiles
mad world
sarah daisy
sterno pants
listen missy
the red zone
southern relish
tastes like chicken


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wFriday, April 25, 2003

Further proof that people suck
A friend of mine is kind of down, and her boyfriend is rather annoyed at her friends because he feels they're overloading her with their own problems. Here's an excerpt from her email to me:
XXX's wife told him she doesn't think she wants to be married to him anymore, but she's not really sure. needless to say, he isn't taking that so well.

Another friend found out that she's pregnant then finds out that the guy she was seeing has a girlfriend and got so upset that she had a miscarriage.

Another friend just found out that the guy she's dating is cheating on his girlfriend of 3 years with her.
Some might call me a cynic, but these instances only prove my point: People suck. My mother tells me that I shouldn't close people off, that if I don't start opening up that I'll miss out. On what? Getting dumped? Screwing people over myself? Sorry, been there, done it. Not worth it.

My thoughts are, that even if things do work out - they will for how long? Moments of happiness are transitory. I had my one true love, I screwed that person over, and it was done with.

Lately I've wondered, Why even try? Even those glorious times end. Sometimes they settle into tolerance, most often they escalate (due to misunderstandings, (un)conscious efforts to sabotage) into nuclear warfare. And then they're done.

Is that then, what we're supposed to go for? Those tiny times of happiness? As I keep stating, they end. They won't last, they don't, they never do. Euphoria only lasts for so long, and then you come down. The pain and disappointment last longer, and often hurt more, than that bit of light that a person can have. Fuck it.

If this sounds like I'm sad, I'm actually much happier than I was earlier today. Because I've always known it's not worth it, and this just further proves it.

posted by Beatriz at 2:59 PM


This morning I picked up If I Pay Thee Not in Gold by Piers Anthony and Mercedes Lackey. The book was published 10 years ago, and my friend Susanna bought it for me in hardback (quite a monetary feat for sophomores in high school). Being the ungrateful wench that I am, of course I never read it.

That was the time I was still heavily into fantasy books. And when this was published, I was nearly ecstatic - I'd been reading Piers Anthony since the sixth grade, and Mercedes Lackey since eighth. I was obsessed with ML, and read everything I could get my hands on, the second it was published. Luckily, at that point most of her stuff came out in paperback.

Over time, I eventually got tired of both authors. Piers Anthony's Xanth series got too silly, and he focused on the minor characters rather than his royal family. The goblin/harpy mixes were a bit too much for me. Mercedes Lackey... well, once her characters started making out with birds, I had issues. Susanna dropped her stuff much earlier than I did, because she got turned off by the rape-and-revenge motif common to several female authors in scifi at that time. I don't know if it's still as prevalent, I haven't read fantasy in a while. I never noticed how much it was really central to the characters until I thought about it recently. But I also read a lot of that kind when I was 13/14 (Marion Zimmer Bradley, Jennifer Roberson), and I guess I just turned it off.

With the watching of Slayers, however, I'm once more favorably inclined towards the genre. The early Xanth books, Stephen Donaldson's Mordant's Need (the first fantasy series I read when I was 11 - way too advanced for my age, but I loved it), David Eddings' Belgariad, Malloreon, Elenium and Tamuli, Tamora Pierce's Song of the Lioness Quartet. And that's the list of my ultimate favorites. To this day, either Susanna and I, or Sarah Daisy and I toss around names for our own mini-series casting of the Belgariad. Back then, it was Joanne Whalley(-Kilmer at that point) as Ce'Nedra; now, I'm holding out for Emma Watson (Hermione from the Harry Potter movies) in a couple of years. Susanna and I used to adore Chris O'Donnell, and he was our Garion; Sarah Daisy just suggested the kid from Tuck Everlasting, which I agree with. I'm pulling for Liv Tyler as Polgara, although that's probably a result from her regality in LotR. In Sarah's words, "We're just preparing for when we're both rich and can make this mini-series." Exactly. Fantasy geeks around the world will be highly grateful.

I'm not far enough into If I Pay . . . to make judgements, but it seems to be shaping up okay. Hopefully it won't be like my revisit to ML's Heralds of Valdemar trilogy, which were so badly written that I was actually embarrassed I once enjoyed them. I've left the rest of the books un-re-read, to keep them pristine and wonderful in my own mind, even if they're not on paper. I think 1993 was before Piers Anthony got too silly, after ML improved her writing a bit, and before she got too weird.

posted by Beatriz at 10:46 AM

wThursday, April 24, 2003

The current Netflix anime series is Slayers, which I mentioned watching in another post, but I don't think I ever described it. Because I'm bored and anime-oriented at the moment, I'll throw out some thoughts.

Slayers reminds me of the good old days when I read fantasy and loved it. The days of Piers Anthony and David Eddings, of devouring huge epic fantasy series as soon as I could get my hands on them. (I'm far too dignified to do that anymore, of course.) Sorcerers, warriors, mercenaries, bandits, dragons in a roller coaster of D&D elements. I never played, but was always interested in it. The main character is a young (15 years old) sorceress, totally vain and pompous. Her main sidekick is a big, beefy blond warrior who's dumb as a rock. Their group has expanded at times, but they're clearly the core of the show. They've met clerics, an insane priest, fought bandits and dragons and all that fun medieval-type fantasy with a good dose of humor and pummeling as well. It borders on being too silly of anime for me, but since I have a soft spot for this type of fantasy I can deal with it.

Recurring humorous elements that don't annoy me are the amount of food Lina Inverse (sorceress) can eat, and Gourry's (dumb sidekick) constant reference to the fact that Lina has absolutely no breasts. Anime elements that do is the putting-of-arms-behind-head when trying to look sheepish or unknowing or innocent. If I was playing the anime drinking game, I'd be comatose from that rule.

posted by Beatriz at 5:01 PM

wTuesday, April 22, 2003

I think I'm going to be sick
I made the mistake of asking, "Who is Scott Peterson?" to which I was admonished, "You should really educate yourself." I dutifully went to to look at the top story.

And my opinion on news reporting hasn't changed one whit.

I purposely avoided any internet coverage of the war. Up-to-the-minute coverage might sound like a grand thing, but it's sure as hell sickening in my book. Which is not widely-read nor agreed with, I know, but is still mine own.

I feel like we're a bunch of circling vultures, waiting for the next scrap of information to surface. Like a bunch of slavering, barbaric voyeurs. Rubbernecking has never been so easy.

And it makes me utterly sick.

posted by Beatriz at 4:37 PM

wMonday, April 21, 2003

RahXephon is Evangelion for people who like good things.

posted by Beatriz at 3:52 PM